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Squirty Pool Toys - a pictorial article

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Mar. 4th, 2006 | 04:42 pm
mood: dorky dorky

Okay, so I went by the local Toys 'R' Us the other day on a lark (big surprise), and I spent about an hour poking around in there. Didn't really have the money to get anything, so I was just looking... or so I thought. On my way out of the store, I took a glance in the 'pool toys' section at the front of the store, and I spotted some interesting looking squirt toys, sold three to a package. I checked, and the pack was only about a dollar fifty, so I shrugged and purchased them. The next day, I found myself wondering about the other squirt toys I'd seen in there; there'd been one other type of three-pack, and a cylindrical container with five dinosaur-shaped squirters. Proper funding or not, I ended up buying those too, and now I have eleven of the things. So I got to thinking... in the spirit of x-entertainment.com (an addictive gen-X-themed memorabilia site), what better thing to do with a pile of useless crap than to write an article about it?

So now, I give you my squirt-toy article, complete with terrible fuzzy photos of each one!




I think this one is my favorite out of all the sea-creature squirters. An endearing, crooked little grin, and his cute little fanny-fan tail. His eyes aren't painted with much care, but that's a fate that most of my fishly friends suffer, since they were clearly cheap.

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The whale is cute, but I can't get past his strange coloring/design combination. He's got the body of a Blue Whale, but he's black... I'd say they'd mistaken him for an orca, but there's no white on the belly, so who knows?

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This guy isn't much to look at, but I can tell you right now, he works about the best of any of these things. His plastic is thin and pliable (as opposed to thick and rigid, a problem that seems all too common with the others), and he's quick and simple to load. Discreet, too. =)

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I was pleased with this one's detail... you can't really see it in the photo, but his head even has little circular indentions to indicate spots. His posing is nice, and he's overall a nice one IMO, though the 'inverted' quality in the way his eyes are painted makes me feel like I'm being watched when I've got him on the desk. =P

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The poor turtle has so much untapped potential, but he was more or less treated like shit by the design staff. So little detail, and the worst paint job out of all the toys. The could have put little ruffles in his fins (as he's a sea turtle), or markings on his shell, or SOMETHING. As before, I acknowledge that they're cheap toys, but seriously.

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The crab has pretty much everything a crab should, I suppose. Like the lobster, he's cute to look at and play with, but squirting is a little tricky because of his shape and plastic-thickness. The crustacians got the high end of the deal on detail, it seems, so he's showing that at least.

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Now onto the can-O-dinos! They've all got their plastic too thick to be very easy to use, but they seem fine enough just for normal play (for me, anyway). This first guy is a pretty standard, nondescript planteater. Only one thing, though, why does he have a tuft of hair on his head!?

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This 'generic three-horned dinosaur' has a nice overall design, and a damn cute muzzle. He's got the inexplicble hair tuft like the one before him, but the colors have already blinded me enough not to notice it that much anymore.

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I do not know what the hell this thing is meant to be. I assume it is a dinosaur, since all the other creatures in the package were as such, but the impression I'm getting from this particular beast leans more toward 'gay hippo with a bad manicure'. Hard to say, but he's original.

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I assume that all of these dinosaurs are herbivores, as I see nothing carnivorous even in the bipedal ones. The chin on this thing is cause for curiosity; does he have a goatee, or is it a defensive feature? Is he supposed to, like... 'chin' things to death?

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I gave three shots of this dino because I wanted you to see his freakin' face. Everything about him says 'stegosaurus or reasonable facsimile', until you see the horns on his face. WHAT. Is this manufacturer afraid of a lawsuit if they atually reproduce a species with some accuracy?

So ok bye!

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Comments {1}

From: unnatural_lump
Date: Mar. 5th, 2006 02:13 am (UTC)
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Oh Em Gee I love them all!!!

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